Irrational fears

I am pretty sure everyone has some weird quirks that we kind of neglect and never really talk about. I realized that I had many strange fears and customs that I wouldn’t have bothered thinking twice about if not for Tumblr. It was only when I read deep-dark-fears that I noticed there were other people who have the same fears I had, and it kept me thinking! So here’s a list of some of my strange fears:

Shooting pens 
During elementary school I always made sure that the pens or pencils weren’t pointed at anyone, not towards the teacher, classmates or myself, for the fear that it might suddenly shoot forwards with such force that it would stab someone. I would always place pens and pencils diagonally, making it point towards the windows and walls. 

I am terrified or butterflies and moths, to me they are the creepiest creatures on earth. Their wings are so fragile and big in comparison to their body, and they fly very uncontrollably. They always have a way of going my direction, and when they do I make sure I close my mouth really well. I wouldn’t want them flying into in my mouth, thank you very much.

Never waking up again
When I was about 10 years old the thought of falling asleep and never waking up again crept into my mind. Every night when I would hear my mom come up the stairs to go to bed, I would whisper to her “I love you”. Her response: Nah, don’t say such silly things. (Thanks mom). This lasted a few years, but I eventually stopped whispering things to my mom in the dark.

Feet and arms 
This one lasted pretty much my whole life, and there are many people who have this fear. My feet and hands stay inside the bed frame at all times, because if they don’t they will get chopped off. Even better is the safe feeling of the blanket, it will protect me against the evilest of monsters. So even when it is 40 degrees Celsius, that blanket will stay put. If that means you melt, then so be it.

The last light
Whenever I go to bed and am the last person to do so, I switch off the last light in the hallway, and walk back to my room. Just keep calm until you reach your room, as you shouldn’t show the ghosts that you’re scared. Then you close the door, jump into your bed, avoiding the mirrors, cover yourself in the blanket until only your face is uncovered and quickly reach your arm to turn off the lamp on your night stand and put in back in. Safety-blanket is life.

The mirror at night
“If you make a weird face in the mirror at the strike of midnight, your face will look like that forever.” So, don’t ever look into the mirror at night, especially not at witching hour. I also don’t want see my face looking differently from what I am doing. I don’t trust my reflection at night. Even when you just want to grab some water or when brushing your teeth, don’t look. I know it’s tempting. 

Intertwining toes
My “index toes” are placed on top of half my big toe, and when I was little my grandma said that I would need surgery for that, because the index toe would grow straight through my big toe. My fear for that operation lasted for years. One day I said to my mom that we should make an appointment for the operation on my toes. That was the day I realized my grandma had made a joke. I didn’t laugh.

Walking down open stairs
We used to have a stairs at my old house that was open from the back, and there was a perfect place for someone to stand underneath it. I was very scared that there was a thief and he would stand there at night, waiting for me to come down so he could cut my Achilles tendons. I would always run down as fast as I could, sometimes even skipping some steps just to mess with him.

The garden
Everyone is already asleep. The night is silent and the only thing illuminating the garden is the dim light above the garden door. The light slightly fades as the deeper part of the garden seeps away into the pit of darkness. I am ready for bed and a well nights sleep. Then I realize that my phone is still downstairs. I run down the stairs as fast as I can, grab my phone. I take a quick peek at the garden making sure there is no one there and run back upstairs. Goodnight safety-blanket.

(Since we lived in a very crappy neighborhood, there were also many thieves and creepy people around. We also lived on the edge of town, next to the wilderness and a big wheat field. My room was on the front side of the house and there was a big light that worked on a motion sensor. Since it also works on cats and other animals coming through it was pretty routine that the light would go on every so often. But when it turns on together with the sound of our squeaky garden fence, you know that a person came through. This would happen a few times a week. So when I had to go downstairs when everyone was already asleep, there was a chance that the thieve was at the back of the house, trying to unlock the door. I was very scared of seeing him. Luckily I never did.)

There’s no party
Whenever there is a party somewhere, or I have to meet a someone at a specific place and time, I fear that they will forget me, or leave me hanging and I will be the only one there. That is why I always make sure to text the person just before I leave to ask whether the plans are still on. Or I ask my friend if she wants to come too so we can walk, and be alone, together. And I always arrive a little bit too late, because 9 out 10 times the other person end up being late too, and I’m still too early.

Using your phone at night
Sometimes I’m still browsing the internet or writing a new post at night, when all the light are out. The light of my phone is so bright that it blinds me from everything around me. Even from the face that may or may not be right behind the screen.

Empty chairs
When I go to bed I make sure that the chair is pushed against the desk. Otherwise it will be an invitation for the ghosts to sit on, staring at you as you sleep. Placing a bunch of clothes over it works too.

Don’t eat the apple core
When I was 8 years old, I was in class and everyone got an apple during lunch break. I ate mine faster than most kids and quickly threw away the core in the trash can. The boy next to me didn’t notice me being away for those few seconds and he asked where my apple was. I told him I ate it. Everything. So he started eating everything as well.. Including the core. I just started at him as I didn’t think he would actually eat it. Then I started thinking about the tree that would start growing in his tummy soon. Poor guy.. Such a slow death.

Scaring my mom
I used to be extremely terrified of the dark, so I never really got a good nights rest. Sometimes I would wake up at night by a loud sound (I might have been imagining it). And after I woke up, I got so scared that I didn’t dare moving. I would just lay there for, what felt like, hours. After I gathered all of my courage I would jump out of bed and run straight to my moms bedroom. But I knew that she would get very angry at me if I woke her up, again. So I would just stand next to her bed staring at her, waiting for her to wake up by herself. It made me feel safe to be standing next to her. Staring at her sleeping face. Doing that scared her so many times that she got mad anyway.

I never close my eyes when showering for the fear that a ghost is standing in front of me when I open them again. I got soap in my eyes so many times.

I may have watched too many horror games and movies when I was a kid, haha. #noregret
Do you guys recognize any of these fears and paranoia’s, or do you have different ones? Let me know in the comments, I would love to hear about them!


2 thoughts on “Irrational fears”

  1. Feet and arms, the last light, mirror at night, using your phone at night, empty chairs and showering… I know what you mean x.x It’s mostly fear of ghosts.
    Also, I never had open stairs until now, and hadn’t thought about what you’re scared of… Now you made me scared hahaha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yay!! I am very sorry, but I am glad to hear that I am not the only one, haha! I am also very sorry to have added more fears to that list.. :’D Next time you go down the stairs at night, you make sure to go seconds! XD


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